Calamari
by RoaOAI
Summary: Aka deep fried Squid. (This is a oneshot I thought of today, made of wierdness and spice. T for language. No, I'm not adding girls to Camp Greenlake. Squid is.)


**Heat stroke: ****results from prolonged exposure to high temperatures - usually in combination with dehydration- which leads to failure of the body's temperature control system. The medical definition of heat stroke is a core body temperature greater than 105 degrees Fahrenheit, with complications involving the central nervous system that occur after exposure to high temperatures. Other common symptoms include nausea, seizures, confusion, disorientation, and sometimes loss of consciousness or coma.**

I don't really remember much from before I keeled over. I'd been thirsty, but felt kinda sick. Like drinking anything would make me hurl. So, I'd saved my water and kept digging. It was weird, I remember, because I should have been sweating buckets and I just wasn't. I just decided to get this hole over with as fast as possible, and go shower.

X-ray tells me I got done before Zero, that day. I kinda wish I remembered it. The last thing I can recall is climbing out of the goddamn hole. Then, someone's shouting my name, and I wake up in D tent, with Mom leaning over me, a day and a half later.

That's what I've told all of them, anyway.

I remember the dream, too.

I woke up, in D tent, to that damned trumpet. It was dark, and my eyes were not open as I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. It wasn't until I was outside that I realized everything was wrong. Mom wasn't there, instead some skinny ratfaced woman was giving them the pep talk. As I turned to ask Caveman, standing beside me, what the hell was going on, I froze, shocked. She was soft-faced, kinda pretty, with mad curly hair and a red bandanna holding it back from her face. She squinted at me.

'Whatssa matter, Squid?" I shook my head, eyes wide open now, and began looking across the weird ass world I found myself in. Zero was the next one closest to me, and I took a second to study her. She was still tiny, with quick eyes and a wary look to her. Mom shouted from up front, and I tried my damndest to pay attention.

"C'mon, gents, come and get your dance partners." The library doors were thrown open, and the lines of shovels within were comfortingly normal. By now, I'd decided I was delusional, and that the best way was to play along with it.

The female X-ray grabbed her shovel first, muttering something as she shoved past us. Her glasses were the same, and her hair was still cropped short. Magnet was behind her, chatting away already, her long black hair braided into cornrows. I grabbed mine, next, and found it kinda reassuring. Even if everything else was going to pot, The shovels were still the same. I caught sight of someone who could only be Mr. Sir in my peripheral vision, and forced myself to not do a double take. She was still short and stocky, but the crazy look was only heightened by the tattooed on eyeliner and freaky eyebrows.

The food still tasted the same, like shit, and as I ate I glanced around, finding the last people I hadn't identified. Armpit had appeared suddenly, out of nowhere, and I took a second to survey her. She was a big BIG girl, made of attitude. I found that I still didn't want to mess with her. A flick of blonde from the corner of my vision called Zig to attention. She was tall, stick thin, and her hair was still nuts.

As we walked through the dawn she fell back to walk next to me.

"You look confused. What's the matter?" I shook my head.

" I just had a weird dream, that's all." She was opening her mouth to talk when X-ray called from the front.

"Zigzag! Get up here, bitch!" The girl beside me rolled her eyes and sped up a little. As she left, she patted my shoulder.

Digging holes was much the same, be ye male or female. I saw more of Magnet than I'd ever wanted to as we came up for water. She'd stripped off her shirt and tied it around her head, exposing a tanned, muscled stomach and grey-white sports bra. I cracked my neck as we stood in line, the same order as the real world except the Amazon was second, and realized that my back was aching. Even in fairyland the water tasted good. Zero was done before the rest of us. I was half glad of the things that were still the same. They kept me grounded when I was sure I was going crazy for checking out X-ray's ass.

I am, evidently, not the brightest in the bunch. It was not until I was in the shower that I realized, if everyone else was inexplicably female, I might be, too. The discovery of my boobs might have had something to do with this. I panicked again, wasting most of my shower time in hyperventilating. My hands still shook as I got dressed again, and nearly ran to the nearest cracked mirror.

I was pretty. Long eyelashes, a full mouth, golden tan. My hair, thank everything, was still the same shaggy length I'd left it. This was getting too weird. X-ray came into the bathroom, drying her hair. She gave me one look, before dropping her towel around her neck and planting her hands on her hips.

"You look like you've just seen a ghost. What the hell is up with you today, Squid?" I finally found my voice.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She smirked a little and her eyebrow quirked upwards.

"Try me."

"Up until this morning, I think I was a boy. So was everyone else." She gave me a startled look.

"That's one hell of a weird dream." I nodded.

There was a shriek from outside, and we both dashed for the door. Zigzag and Cave were fighting, Zig's hands dug hard into the other's curly brown hair. Zero dove in next, and I watched Armpit wade into the mess, yelling at the top of her lungs. Finally, it was all sorted out, and X-ray and I went over to assess damage. Zig was bleeding from where Zero'd clawed her face, Cave had a black eye and a sore skull, and Zero had a bruise on the back of her neck from where Armpit had picked her up. Mom was furious, shouting at the top of her lungs about 'staying civilized' and 'what the hell were you thinking?' Turns out it was a pointless argument that Zigzag took too personal. As least their personalities were still the same.

Everyone else was asleep soon after we were shipped back to our tent. Their preparations were interesting, though. Magnet brushing out her hair and getting X-ray to rebraid it back. Cave was writing, and Zero was reading over his shoulder. X-ray was gossiping with Armpit, and Zigzag had already curled up in her bed.

Then, my eyes opened to see Mom hovering over me, back in the real world with a pounding headache. I once more possessed balls.

"Good morning, princess." Mr Sir said from the end of my bed.


End file.
